I hate my life. A lot. You know how I was sick last week, and I missed a week of school and a track meet? Well, my coach's are being cool, surprisingly, but my teammates, they're angry at me. They told me I wasn't dedicated enough. One girl's grandma died on Thursday, and she told me she still went to meet. I COULDN'T go. The doctor said explicitly that I was not allowed to go to this meet. And like my mom would let me go. Please.
And today when I got home after this day of absolute suckishness, I was talking to my mom and it slipped out, I didn't mean for it to at all, about my friend's grandma and how she went to the meet, and how why couldn't I go, and all that. My mom got so incredibly pissed at that. She went and she called the girl's house and left a message, I don't know what she said, I locked myself in my room, crying, and now I'm still crying, because I know that the girl hates me now, like really must hate me, and this just sucks so bad.
I'm so depressed, and I'm not even using that word lightly. I mean it. I just hate my life, I hate myself, and I'm just done with all of this. I don't want to lose the girl as a friend, but that's what's gonna happen. God, why does this always happen to me? Why couldn't I just be cool when I got home, and not say a thing to my mom? I have a million questions in my mind, like why why why why why???? I'm just so done.
:(
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