Grounded...sort of.

Yeahhhh, so I'm a little bit grounded. Just a little! Sooo maybe, due to the copious amount of homework and midterms I have this week, I've neglected my chores. Whatever. It's all good, I guess. I'm not...grounded grounded. I'm just not really supposed to be online (except from Friday to Sunday night) unless it has to do with school, until I start committing to my chores. Which I started to do. Today. I shoveled snow AND washed dishes. Yeah, I did that. Uh-huh, I'm awesome. Now I just have to keep up with it. Sooo I'll mainly be posting on the weekends, unless I sneak online (like I kinda am right now) under the pretense of "reviewing Chem" or "reviewing Geometry." Even though, I really am reviewing Chem right now, I have to finish my midterm tomorrow! Wish me luck!!!
:)

I'm sorry, this needed to be shared!

http://perezhilton.com/2010-01-20-shake-that-body-martha

Just watch it.

:D

I lost a LOT of water today, if you get what I mean.

Okay, I don't know if you get what I mean by that title. Basically, I cried for over an hour today, pretty much the first two and a quarter periods of the school day. You know what I was posting about yesterday, yeah, that's why I was crying. She was too. It was...a bad day for a lot of people. My friend and her boyfriend are pretty much over I think (think! hope not), and just the whole crying thing. Our coach intervened and had us get it all out there into the open, so we could see eachother's point of view. So we talked and stuff, and the way the girl took it, when my mom called her to confront her about all of this, she took it to mean that my mom didn't give a fuck that her grandma died. My mom never said that her grandma's death was unimportant. I don't know. I don't agree with my mom calling the girl, it was a stupid decision in my point of view, and she should've just dealt with it, and none of this crap would've happened.
Well, now I've got an appointment with this lady Julie on Sunday after church. She's a therapist I guess. And I need her. I really do, I'm admitting it. I'm probably overreacting to these feelings I have, but maybe I'm depressed. And that's not a word you use lightly. I guess she'll tell me, because I plan on telling her everything that's going through my mind.
Oh! Before I go, here's a little FREAKING HILARIOUS video that I watched last night, it made me feel a little better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MRTjS3YO0A
"Keep yo' hands off my mama, and keep yo' hands off my Doritos."
:)

Quick Note

You know what? Maybe I'm better off. She was always bossing me around and making me feel like shit. She seemed to enjoy it. I don't know. I'll see what happens.
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I'm done.

I hate my life. A lot. You know how I was sick last week, and I missed a week of school and a track meet? Well, my coach's are being cool, surprisingly, but my teammates, they're angry at me. They told me I wasn't dedicated enough. One girl's grandma died on Thursday, and she told me she still went to meet. I COULDN'T go. The doctor said explicitly that I was not allowed to go to this meet. And like my mom would let me go. Please.
And today when I got home after this day of absolute suckishness, I was talking to my mom and it slipped out, I didn't mean for it to at all, about my friend's grandma and how she went to the meet, and how why couldn't I go, and all that. My mom got so incredibly pissed at that. She went and she called the girl's house and left a message, I don't know what she said, I locked myself in my room, crying, and now I'm still crying, because I know that the girl hates me now, like really must hate me, and this just sucks so bad.
I'm so depressed, and I'm not even using that word lightly. I mean it. I just hate my life, I hate myself, and I'm just done with all of this. I don't want to lose the girl as a friend, but that's what's gonna happen. God, why does this always happen to me? Why couldn't I just be cool when I got home, and not say a thing to my mom? I have a million questions in my mind, like why why why why why???? I'm just so done.
:(

This level of sadness is illegal in 3 states.

I think the title is sort of self-explanatory. Obviously, I'm sad right now. And obviously, it's more than just "I'll be over it in a few hours"-sad.
I'm scared. My coaches, they hate me now, for missing school for a whole week because of a sore throat. It's not just a sore throat, I have an upper respiratory infection. But do they care? No. Do they care that my mom brought in a note from my doctor excusing me from school running for the rest of the week? No, of course they don't. Instead, they'd rather tell all my friends on the team that it's not right to miss school (by which they mean running) for a whole week because I'm sick. That I should just suck it up. I'm done. Done with them, done with running for a team. I'd rather do 3 miles on my own everyday for the rest of high school, and college, and maybe even for the rest of my life, than have to deal with the Iatauros' for one more minutes. I'm too scared to call them. I really, really am. My mom said that if they give me a hard time over the phone, that she'll talk to them (by which I mean, yell at them) and tell them that I'm off the team. That way, I don't even have to finish off the season. I'm just so done with this.
My dad. He's another reason I'm at this infinitesimal level of sadness right now. He lives in Thailand, with his young, Thai wife, Fa. She's only 3 years older than my sister, who is 29. He has this problem, it's a mental thing I guess, that keeps him from doing smart things. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but the way he acts sometimes makes me hate him. I don't even pick up the phone really anymore, because I don't even want to talk to him. He's a wonderful father, when he's not doing stupid things, or acting like a child. And the thing is, he wants to be a good dad. He has the desire too, and he is...sometimes. I just...need to talk to somebody.
It feels good to have this blog, and to be able to let stuff out.
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Redid the template...hmm...

So, I redid the template...I think I like it, but I'm not sure...Well, whatever. I just wanted to make sure it was all working.
:)

Owl City, Care Bears, and Boredom. OH MY!!!

What an incredibly boring life I lead. Seriously. In the past week, due to my annoying sickness, I've finished like, 5 books, watched like, 10 movies, and I've seen WAYYY too many episodes of Degrassi-The Next Generation. TOO MANY, I tell you, TOO MANY.
To be quite honest, the only things that are really keeping me sane are my iPod and AIM. At least I have some form of communication with my friends, right? I miss seeing them sooo much. Especially my friend Hope. She's like, my best friend everrr. And I miss my other buds too, like Ashley and Livvy and Olivia. Ughh, why did I have to be sick for a week? WHY? :(
Back to the other thing that's keeping me sane: my iPod. The Hush Sound, Owl City(♥), Regina Spektor, and Sara Bareilles keep me from turning into a little pile of boringness and oatmeal. (By the way, I ate WAY too much oatmeal this week, more than I've ever eaten before. Seriously, on Tuesday, I ate like, 4 bowls of oatmeal in like, 3 hours. But I still love it.)
Now, to prove JUST HOW BORED I am, I'm gonna put my results of which Care Bear I am up on this post...just as soon as I'm done with this quiz...
....
Freaking long quiz, man.
:|
FINALLY. After like 10 minutes of questioning, I have my results!!!
My results: You are most like Harmony Bear. Harmony Bear helps others get along. This peace loving bear knows our differences are something to be celebrated, not something to keep us apart. When differences are brought together in harmony they create something beautiful. That's the meaning of her symbol a smiling flower with different colored petals.
Her Caring Mission is to help others overcome differences and get along. Her smiling flower symbol shows the beauty and happiness that comes from getting along with those around us. Her Personality is open and friendly. Her Character Quirk is that she's got a beautiful singing voice that seems to magically help calm others when they're upset. Her Color is Lavender. Her Best Friend is Friend Bear. Her Relationship Challenge is with Champ Bear. She can be so competitive sometimes. Motto is Good times get better when we get along together.

I'm sick. And bored. Lovely combo, no?

So yeah, I'm sick. I've been sick for the past 5 days, and I missed a week of school. Gotta admit it, I totally miss school. Not the learning, really, but my friends. I don't miss running though...Anyways, I've been soooo bored, so I took a quiz to find out what my Inner Dragon color was. And well...here it is:

A YELLOW Dragon Lies Beneath!

My inner dragon is the most interesting of all. Not only am I the Air Elemental dragon, but I am the fourth rarest type of dragon in the world. Given the chance, I'd spend my days just soaring through the clouds, and I'll only attack if provoked. Click the image to try the Inner Dragon Online Quiz for yourself.

Nice, huh? (Thank you ttyl by Lauren Myracle for giving me the idea to take this!)
Well, basically, I've just been reading, eating, and watching movies this week. Nothing special. Oh! I did go for Chinese food after my doctor's appointment on Wednesday! ...Not too exciting, is it? Huh. Well, I'm just trying to keep myself occupied.
HOLY BAJESUS!!! It's past 1 PM already. Funny, it feels so much earlier. Well, I guess time flies when your *not* having fun, right?
That's all for now!

Sarah :)

School tomorrow...really?

Hey everyone. Argh, school starts up again tomorrow. It's ridiculous. They should have at least started it on like...idk...a Wednesday. Not a Monday. That's just ridiculous. Who wants to come back to school after a nice, relaxing winter break on a MONDAY?! Nobody, that's who.
Anyways, this post isn't just me complaining about school, at least I don't think it'll be... It's about...friends. I just feel, this is just me, I would be a completely different person if it wasn't for my friends. They keep me sane, I swear. (Facebook and chocolate help though, lol.) It's like, last night, one of my really good guy friends was talking to me about New Year's Resolutions. Namely, mine. I'm going to try to be more confident this year. I've lived through a decade already, so it's definitely time to boost my confidence up. Way up. And when I speak of confidence, I speak of boys.
This friend reminded me that I'm not stupid, and that I can be pretty witty and funny. At least when I'm talking to him. But the reason I'm like that is because I'm so comfortable with him, since we're so close. He's such a wonderful friend to me.
All my other friends are amazing, possibly even better, I'm not sure. They'll always be there for me, I just know it. Anything could happen, and they'd stay by my side, never leaving me. I've grown to love every one of my friends more and more each year we stay friends. I've got one friend who I've known since I was like, 3 years old. We'll always be close, I can feel it. And then there are my friends from cross country and track. We grow closer every season, and I love it. (Oh, btw. I'm not quitting. I'm going through with it for the rest of high school!Just not college, lol.) I just feel incredibly lucky, I guess.
Well, now it's time for me to go prepare for school tomorrow. *shoots self*
Before I go, a quick, pleading prayer for anybody in the universe that's listening to me:
SNOW, DAMMIT!!! SNOWWWWWW!!!!
:)

Just to Describe ME

Hey everyone!

Wow, this is the first time I've ever created a blog. I'm completely new to this, but I feel like this will help me get better at what I really love to do, which is writing.
I've been thinking a lot about college and what I want to do with my future. I thought that I loved to run, and maybe I do, just not competitively. It's just too much for me right now, with pressure to be the number one distance runner on the team. I'm 99% positive I'm going to stop doing track and cross country this coming year. I'll finish off the indoor season, but I just don't feel the same way about running as I used to. There's no more thrill to start and finish a race. I have no motivation. For the past 2 or 3 years, I've been thinking that running was going to be the only way I'd get into college, but now, after weeks of thinking, I've come to realize that it isn't. And, to be honest, I really do NOT want to run for an extra 4 years during college. I want to focus on music and writing, two things that really define who I am as a person.
I was talking to my mom today about college and my future. She told me that now's the time to think about what I want to do with my life. I've decided I don't want to run anymore, that's already been established, but I don't know if I want to go into journalism or music. Maybe I could major in one and minor in the other, once I get to college.
I've been thinking a lot about taking guitar lessons. I did over the summer, but I stopped as soon as school started. I love the guitar, it's so beautiful, and there are so many different things you can do with it. I also would love to continue with singing lessons, which I also stopped when school started again. I love to sing, and what else is better to combine with guitar than a little singing, right? I might even take up dancing again, seeing as I'll have more time on my hands without all of that running taking over my life.
You know, maybe I'll post some of a book I'm trying to write on Just Sarah. There's like, 14 or 15 pages so far, and it doesn't even have a title yet, I can't think of one...
I don't even know if anyone is going to read this blog, EVER, but it doesn't hurt to try new things, right?
:)